“I just don’t have the time.”
This is the #1 objection I hear when I ask what people do to feel good. But I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t always need to take lots of time to give yourself a lift, refocus yourself, and start feeling better.
A quick fix might be just what you need, especially on those days where you are stressed and overwhelmed, but stopping completely isn’t an option because there’s still lots more to get done before the end of the day and you’re on a deadline. When you find yourself in these situations, I recommend a three-minute pause to just shift your state (physical, mental and emotional) and reset yourself.
Here are three ways to feel good in 3 minutes (or less), all of which have been proven to reduce stress and boost the feel-good chemicals and hormones in your body. But I know you’re short on time, so I won’t get into the “science bit” today.
I filmed today’s video during one of my morning walks because this month I’ve been talking about love, and my morning walks are one my acts of self-love.
As I’ve said in my other videos this month, showing yourself love makes it a lot easier to give and receive love to other people but sometimes it doesn’t happen because we can make these acts of self-love much BIGGER than they need to be… which can then mean they don’t happen at all.
Watch the video or scroll down for more...
For example, when I first moved out to Westcliff-on-sea from London, I managed to have a few months where I would actually manage to get out walking by the seafront for a full hour. Then life got busy and that hour didn't seem possible or realistic, so I just stopped even though I know that going for a walk really makes a difference to how I feel and how the rest of my day goes.
I realise now that the problem was that I made it way too big by deciding that my walk had to be a whole hour. But when you're really busy that feels overwhelming because it's just another thing on your to-do list.
I continue this month's theme of Love with a video about how (and why) to love your "Inner Child".
This is about showing love to that young part of you that didn’t get the love that it may have needed at an earlier time of your life... because this will be having an impact on you as an adult (even if you feel you had a good childhood.)
Watch the video or scroll down for more...
This might have been in a situation where there was trauma or abuse, or it may be something that now seems like it's merely a mild disappointment but - at the time - the young you found it really quite traumatic e.g. a parent snapping at you or dismissing your, not getting the grades you wanted, being told you were bad at sports or maths (and I could go on).
This young part of you needs a bit of loving because at the time they didn’t get what they needed to feel safe and happy... until they get this love, it can stop you feeling truly safe and happy as an adult, which keeps you stuck and/or overwhelmed.
In my last video, I talked about the importance of loving yourself unconditionally.
Today, being the “Official Day of Love” I’d like to give you a tip on how to improve your personal relationships – whether that’s with a spouse/partner or another relationship.It’s a continuation on the self-love theme, but particularly in relation to other people.
My tip today is to notice where your ability to love yourself depends on how much other people show you love, or where you find that your happiness is dependent on the happiness of your loved ones.
It’s the month of love and all around us there are red roses and heart shaped balloons, and the birthday cards have been shoved to the back of the shops in favour of sometimes sweet, sometimes silly, Valentine’s paraphernalia.
So this month, I’ll be joining in the fun and talking about love. But not just the commercialised “Show your love by spending your money” variety. I’ll be talking about true love – unconditional love – for yourself, your life, and in your relationships.
Watch the video below or scroll down to read more.
Most of us place conditions on the love we have for ourselves or others. In one way or another we show love to others if they fulfil our needs in some way (and withdraw it if they don't. Or we decide only to show ourselves love when I’ve achieved a particular goal, or got to the bottom of a to-do list.
But true love is genuinely unconditional – and there whatever you do or don’t do – which is what makes it so satisfying and fulfilling. And it starts with the greatest love of all (I’ll try not to burst into song) – and that is loving yourself… yes UNCONDITIONALLY.
Storytelling Day (26th January) actually kicked off Storytelling Week, so I thought I'd continue the theme of re-writing your story.
Last week I spoke about the stories we tell ourselves and the beliefs we take on throughout our lives. And last week I had the privilege of spending four days at an event called SHINE, run by Tom Fortes Mayer, the creator of The Freemind Project and my hypnotherapy teacher. For me SHINE was an an opportunity to edit some of the stories I had been telling myself so that I can start 2019 as I mean to go on.
During my time at SHINE I went Live on Facebook to share a few of my insights from the course. In the Facebook Lives (or the blog below if you prefer to read) I share one thing you can do to help you to re-write your story, one way to align your life with your beliefs, and some ideas for to making the journey fun.
On the 26th January it’s Storytelling Day so that’s the theme of my next couple of videos. Or more precisely, the stories we tell ourselves. So I want to ask - What stories are you telling yourself… About yourself, your life and the world?
Watch the video below or read more below.
As we grow up and live life, we develop filters through which we see the world. These are in the shape of the underlying beliefs and thoughts we hold.
These beliefs can be empowering and boost us up, or they can be negative and really diminish our happiness.
(Plus a bit about an event to help you do that... and your chance to get yourself a FREE Freemind Hypnotherapy Session)
Did you know that there's a Ditch the New Years Resolutions Day? (It's 17th January in case you're wondering.) Apparently most people who made New Year’s Resolutions will have given up on them by now anyway. But the idea behind this Ditch the New Years Resolutions Day is that you decide to ditch the unrealistic, overwhelming goals that resolutions usually are and realize that you’ve got to make real strides, all year long to make any kind of change happen, and start looking at real lifestyle changes.
Watch the video below or read more below.
However, that can feel a bit daunting when you realise that the changes you want to make are actually about a lifestyle change - and a lifelong process - and that changing a lifetime of bad habits is easier said than done.
For me, that’s where the Freemind System comes in...
How was 2018 for you?
Are you starting 2019 thinking “I just can't have another year like last year…” and “This year has got to be the year things change!”
Well, what if this year could actually be the year that things change and you didn’t have to keep going on that merry-go-round of feeling stuck and overwhelmed and really want to just get back to feeling like yourself and being excited about life again.
The good news is that there is a way to make that happen!
Watch the video or read more below.
The key is to overcome three core limiting beliefs which hold people back....
In the middle of the semi-circle of chairs, directly opposite our facilitator, I sat in floods of tears with 15 pairs of eyes on me.
It was day 4 of the training, and it was only the day before that I had been waxing lyrical about how amazing I felt and how my heart was so open and the world was so wonderful and colourful and bright... I had been a virtual paragon of positive thinking. So what happened in that 24 hours to turn me into a wet mess?
If you find that you try all the positive thinking and law of attraction stuff, but only get so far before you start behaving in a way that is so not aligned with where you want to be, then you might have the same problem I did. Because you can do all the positive thinking in the world, and spout affirmations till the cows come home, but if you haven't done the deep diving into your emotions - the subconscious "baggage" that weighs you down whether you know it or not - then it might help for a bit, but the results will not be very long lasting.
It might even feel like you're wearing a mask of positivity when, inside, you just want to scream into your pillow or cry in a corner. The funny thing is, I needed to turn into a wet mess in order to remove my mask and really allow me to move forward in a positive way.